


December in New York

by gladiatorAviator



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Reincarnation, Gen, Modern Era
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-22
Updated: 2018-10-22
Packaged: 2019-08-05 20:21:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,076
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16374407
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gladiatorAviator/pseuds/gladiatorAviator
Summary: Through the falling snow there's the shapes of skyscrapers, morphing into the giants that haunt his nightmares. There's no one else out there that has lived through what he has, right?





	December in New York

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! It's been a while! This little fic has been hanging out in my folder for far too long, and I believe it's been through enough to finally be seen by the public eye. Anyway summaries are still hard to write. I hope y'all enjoy it!

Snow fell softly from the sky, blanketing the streets with its wooly coat, fuzzing edges and refracting the endless light from the city. Snowflakes blew into Levi’s uncovered face, leaving a cold, stinging sensation wherever they touched. Levi scowled, pulling his scarf closer to his face, turning his shoulder into the wind and hurrying on his way.

He found his car beneath the blanket of snow, ripping the door open to take cover in the enclosed space. Cars were safe. Cars were a refuge. He turned the ignition, the car roaring to life, cold, stale air blasting from the fans. He shivered, grimacing. The air should turn warm soon, though it was always so dry. He clicked the wipers on, the wipers groaning as they struggled to remove the snow from the windshield. 

Levi leaned back into the chair, the hum of the engine rattling the car. Machines were so much easier to deal with than people. They acted the way you wanted them to. Mysteries could be easily solved with a mechanic, and if not, they didn’t care when it was time to get a new one. 

There were no cars from the place he came from.

And there it was; a flash from a past life haunting him. Steel blades in hands, heavy weights at his hips and far too much responsibility as Humanity’s Strongest. Titans instead of skyscrapers surrounded him, with bloody, menacing grins. Children behind his back, dressed in soldier’s gear they shouldn’t have to bear. 

Levi threw the car into drive, peeling away from the dead parking lot. The tires squealed, hydroplaning for a few frightening moments, just enough adrenaline to pull him out of his memory. He gripped the steering wheel, snow warping around his windshield as he picked up speed. Lamp lights shone overhead, fuzzy yellow lights melding into the tan horizon. Neon signs broke up the neutral colors, gaudy reds, blues, and greens. 

Red, like the blood he had spilt. Blue, like the lips of his dead comrades. Green, like the forest floors where he had to leave the bodies to rot without a proper burial.

_Fuck off,_ Levi scowled, pressing harder on the gas, great grey buildings lowering their ceilings, signs becoming more dim, billboards taking the responsibility of neon ads. 

The click and grind of the gear shift. 

Shifting weight to fly on steel cables, leather biting into the arch of his foot, where now he scrubbed with pumice to make sure no calluses formed. 

The growling of the engine. 

Faint roars of impossible monsters in the distance, howling and groans of the dead as he sliced silver blades again and again into Titan flesh, returning red as they exited, splattering his clothes and skin with burning blood. He took the utmost care of his clothing, always washed, always fresh with the scent of dryer sheets. There was a noticeable absence of red from his selection.

The buildings flying past him.

Adrenaline sparking his heart as Titans appeared in the dark spaces between simple brick houses, lunging with eerie grins filled with too many teeth. Guts splattering behind him as he flew past, another death, another death, more he couldn’t save. 

Survivor’s guilt, they called it.

Frustrated, Levi forcefully punched the radio on, the button leaving a dent in the pad of his finger. Static crackling of some one-hit wonder from the 80’s sang from the speakers, Levi turning up the volume to drown out his thoughts. The air from the heater bit into his face, the smell reeking of old heater coils and stale air. Green light after green light, cars left on the side of the road to grow blankets of snow, becoming shapeless lumps, like rotting houses and burial mounds.

Green.

He couldn’t really talk to anyone about this. Who would believe him when he talked about giants that ate people, walls surrounding what seemed to remain of humanity, flying through the air on cables as people died below him? Bringing all of that up would just confirm that he was losing his mind, that he should be sent to some facility somewhere to lock him up until he forgot all of it.

Green.

Did he really want to forget though? All of those people he had met, would their deaths be in vain if he forgot? Was this his burden to bear as a leader? Levi shook his head. No, he couldn’t let himself drop his past life, no matter how hard it clinged to him and dug its dirty nails into his spine. He had seen humanity’s pinnacle of tenacity, of bravery. But, he had also seen its filthy underbelly. People being treated as disposable pawns, despicable acts handwaved for the so-called greater good. 

Green.

How many people did he have to bury? How many people did he lead the charge to their deaths? How many families and friends did he have to go to, holding whatever was left of their patches, their flesh, their skeletons? How many people’s eyes did he see burning out, their will to fight gone? How many dreams did he trample under his feet?

Red.

Levi slammed the brakes, heart pumping as humanoid shapes to his left appeared in his peripheral vision. His index finger pushed the wheel, muscle memory from a different lifetime pulling the trigger to escape. He heaved a breath, resting his head on the back of his seat, trying to calm his thundering blood pushing through his veins. _God, what a night. It’s usually not this bad._

He blinked, focusing on the people walking across the street in front of him. A group of three, hair brown, blond, black. Two boys, one girl. Eyes hazel-gold, full of passion and fire. Eyes glacier-blue, hiding scathing wit. Eyes steel-grey, seething with intensity. 

_It couldn’t be._ Levi felt his throat constrict. _Those three? Here? It would be an awfully convenient coincidence._ Surely he was just imagining things. Tonight’s haunts were stronger than normal, the images imprinting harder on his mind, the screams louder in his head. Levi gripped the steering wheel, knuckles turning white. He watched as the group turned the corner, jaw clenched.

Green.

It wouldn’t hurt to investigate.

Levi swung his car to the right, glancing at the nearby parking meters. Two hour parking. Good. He turned into a spot, grimacing as his car slid on the snow. He fumbled with the stick, throwing it into park and ripping the keys out of the ignition. He spared a glance at the mirrors before opening his door, just to make sure they were far enough away that it wouldn’t look like he was trailing them. 

Cold air bit into him as he walked swiftly down the sidewalk. Shoulders raised defensively against the snow, hands shoving their way into pockets to keep warm. The sidewalk beneath him seemed unstable as he rushed his way up towards the group, shoes slipping on the thin layer of snow and ice. His heart pumped in his ears, cheeks flushed with adrenaline. He was almost close enough to hear them.

_You’re a fucking creep,_ Levi thought as he half-jogged his way up to the group, trailing what he hoped was far enough back for them not to notice. _Not sure what you’re expecting, you old fuck._

Armin-- _no, you don’t know that_ \--the blond said something to the others in a hushed tone, Levi straining to pick up what he was saying. 

“...sure?” the brunette said hesitantly.

The girl and the blond nodded vigorously, a grin breaking out on the blond’s face as the brunette let out a breath through pursed lips, the frozen breath puffing out like steam.

“Hey remember that one time I got suspended and that one snobby short guy had to bail me out since he knew it wasn’t my fault?” the brunette said.

“Oh yeah, and then they assigned him to be a mentor to you? But it ended up turning out all right at least,” the girl said. “He was a bit of a dick, but a likable one at least.”

“He was definitely a dick,” the blond agreed. “He wasn’t much of a people-person, and he was incredibly bad at talking to people, but he did his best. Even if he would threaten people at times. He tried to do what was best for all of us. I found it admirable that not everyone in charge lost the ability to empathize.” They were starting to walk faster, as if they felt Levi’s presence behind them, though no one turned to look behind them.

Levi perked up, hurrying his steps. _This could be... Or I’m just projecting._ Levi grimaced, hands balling into fists in his pockets. _Fuck. This could be about anything. And you’re just some weird-ass fucker following some delinquent students or whatever._ He pursed his lips, exhaling a plume of white that blew back into his eyes. _But you’re already here so now you gotta pretend you’re going off somewhere at fuck o’clock at night._ Levi furrowed his brow. _There’s a bar around here. Maybe I should go for a drink? Ah hell. Just keep following them for now. Don’t be suspicious._ Levi glared down at the sidewalk, shivering, nails biting crescents into his palm. 

“Aren’t you the one who went off about sacrificing feelings and whatever for the greater good?” the brunette grinned, elbowing the blond.

“Oh fuck off. I was bad at following my own advice. Guess you could say I got burned by it later.”

“Oh my god, Armin. I thought you said you were done with those jokes.”

Levi’s head snapped up, second-guessing his hearing. He walked faster, moving in, snow dusting his hair far more than he would’ve like, his hair becoming wet and falling out of its careful styling.

“As if you don’t ever joke about it, Eren,” Armin retorted. “Just a few days ago you were going off about how terrible you were at not getting kidnapped when we lost you at the store. A whole five minutes without us and suddenly you’re directionless.”

Eren rubbed the back of his neck. “Well at least I found the hair ties.”

“Eren Jaeger, everybody. Savior to us all,” Armin replied dryly. “Mikasa, how did you deal with him growing up?”

Mikasa just shrugged. “You get used to it,” she said simply. “Like how Eren got used to being kidnapped.” 

“Hey!”

“Everyone’s favorite damsel in distress,” Armin agreed.

“I’m right the fuck here!”

“Kept getting wrecked in battles,” Mikasa said, grinning. “Costed an arm and a leg to get him back.”

“Oh my fucking god,” Eren groaned, putting his head in his hands. “We get it, I’m Edward Elric. Lost an arm and a leg. Haha, very funny.”

“And don’t you remember at the ocean, the first time? Hanji had a sea cucumber, one of the most harmless creatures, and he was so fucking scared to touch it.” Armin turned around, eyes locking with Levi’s. “Isn’t that right, Levi?”

Levi’s knees shuddered beneath him, his breath catching in his throat. He froze, shoes slipping on the sidewalk. The three stopped, turning to face him.

“Hello, Corporal,” Mikasa grinned at him.

Levi stared at them, breaths coming short, lips cracking into a smile. Cold air rushed into his raw throat, escaping as a breathy laugh. “You--you sonuvabitch,” he said, pointing to Armin. “God, you little fucker, you knew this whole time. You were just stringing me along. You little piece of shit.”

Armin just laughed along with him, a mischievous glint in his eyes.

“Nice to see you too,” Eren beamed, raising his arms out to his sides, obviously expecting a hug.

_Oh, what the hell,_ Levi thought as he stepped forward to embrace the group.

Perhaps this life didn’t have to be so lonely after all. All those kids he had sent to the ends of the earth, to what could have been their deaths, they were here, _alive,_ and who’s to say that all the people he had seen in his past life were now just ghosts to haunt him. Perhaps they knew of others, but, for right now, Levi let himself relax into the three’s embrace, pleased to know that he wasn’t the sole survivor of that broken age’s past.

Here, out in the godforsaken cold of some backwater city, he knew that he had true friends that spanned his lives, and that was infinitely more rewarding than the lonely title of Humanity’s Strongest.


End file.
